Hi Denise an gang the ol hdg is finding out that Hi bloodpressure an waterpills an old age don't mix verry good in between dizzy spells an running over himself coming an going to the potty takes up a lot of valuble time ol hdg may try an party after noon for awhile but don't hate him iffin he don't show up.keep the dog biscuits kinda handy just in case hdg
I have our diet food already to go for tomorrow! It's gonna be tough - but we're determined to stay with our program. Extra shakes, benefit bars, lots of water -- we'll get through it! Cleon's down over 10# and I'm down about 7# -- in a little over a week.
I figure with all the ol' bats there tomorrow, Jack won't even have to light a fire. There is going to be enough hot air circulating to warm up the Astrodome. I think it was really great of him to give Denise the day off so she could be there to make coffee for us. I hope she appreciates all his sacrificing.You know that is going to cut into Jack's pocket money and it gets expensive maintaining an ol' bat.
JACK HAS A PELLET BURNIN STOVE. WAIT TILL HE HEARS ABOUT THIS INVENTION. HIS OLE BAT COULD PRODUCE ALL THE FUEL HE WOULD NEED AND MORE FOR A WINTER. HARD TO IMAGINE HIM AND OLE BAT DENISE SITTIN IN FRONT A THAT STOVE AND KNOWIN WHERE THE FUEL CAME FROM
Dale that's a great idea. Well, it will be if he can get the guano out of them first. Nothing to take the romance out of an evening by the fireplace like the stinch of burning guano. I'm sure Al has that figured out though. No sense letting all that good fertizlier go up in smoke. Heck a guy could spread it on his garden and grow some bodacious crops. I think that is what Larry uses on his watermelons to get them so big but, of course, he isn't talking but every watermelon season Chrissy seems to shed a few pounds.
HEY JIMMY, I DON'T KNOW IF BIG AL TOLD YA THAT HE'S WORKIN ON REVAMPIN THE BAT PULITIZER INTO A PELLETIZER TO COMPRESS THEM OLE BATS INTO PELLETS FOR ALL THESE PELLET BURNERS. YUP, YUP, YA'LL WILL BE ABLE TO TURN AN OLE BLOND BAT INTO HOME HEATING FUEL FINALLY A GOOD USE FOR THOSE THINGS, BUT I'M SURE THE DNR WILL BE CHECKING IT OUT FOR EMISSIONS
Denise keeps Jack in place. Behind the wheel driving her to work. The rest of the time he is spending writing his next book, "Training You Ol' Bat, It's Hard But It Can Be Done". He is going to offer some really neat insight in how to overcome blonditis in your ol' bat. He says the paychecks are worth the effort. I'm not sure that all the ol' bats can be trained but I have to admit that if Rosie, Denise and Chrissy can be trained, there is hope for the rest of them.The things us guys go through for our ol' bats. You'd a thunk we'd a gotta a Pulitizer Prize by now.
Chris - typical caveboys -- get 'em talking about food and they forget everything else!!! We're just reeling them in and they have no idea what to expect! Denise -- you keep ole' Jackie Bob in place!
Sorry guys - Cleon and I have to stay on our diets! We're bringing our prepared meal -- yummy -- and our shakes. We are bringing something for the the non-dieters - I don't know what yet!
ol hdgs diet one meal a day in the evenings after 5pm until midnight or later?? then just coffee an cigarettes until the next evening been the routine for last 30+ years never think about eatng in the am or noon time not ever hungry then small houn's just needs a couple dog biscuits a day an not many SWEETS hdg gonna make him some chilly now in the shape of dog biscuits hdg
I read somewhere that bats food of choice is mosquitos. Now that is natural food that is probably low on calories too. Problem being, Walmart doesn't carry mosquitos and they are out of season. Think that is why ol' bats are supposed to be hybernating right now. Now there is a diet that should work. You sleep for four months out of the year and don't eat anything at all. The rest of the year you dine on mosquitos and perhaps a juicy c-ock roach if you come across one. Dale - If you don't mind, I think I will be eatin' at your table.
I'M THINKIN I'LL BRING PORKCHOPS, MASHED POTATOES WITH LOTS A BUTTER AND GRAVY, BAKED BEANS WITH BACON GREASE POORED OVER THE TOP, HOT ROLLS WITH SOME MORE BUTTER, MAYBE STRAWBERRIES WITH LOTS A WHIP CREAM OR ICE CREAM. MIGHT BRING MILLER LIGHT TO DRINK. NOW THAT'S A DIET MEAL "EVERYONE" WANTS TO BE ON. YUP, YUP.
Ok Caveboy, Everyone bring the good food that God put on the earth for us. Like fresh fruit and veggies. and meat roasted. Don't bring cakes cookies and the likes. You don't see that stuff being grown on trees or in gardens. Those are bad things for our bodies (that are good but make us fat). Man has taken Gods food and warped it into the fattening treats that make us fat. The caveboy is being selfish by wanting all that good stuff for himself that doesn't make him fat. I suppose we could compromise with him and others like him and bring 2 things. Let him bring something for us and himself, like we will have to do. What are you bringing caveboy that we all can eat?
HEY CHRISIE BAT, I'M TELLIN YA THAT "EVERYONE" IS NOT ON A DIET MORE OF US ARE NOT ON A DIET THAN ARE ON A DIET YA KNOW IN OUR NEXT LIFE, THERE MIGHT NOT BE ALL THIS DELICIOUS FOOD AND I FOR ONE AM NOT GONNA LOOK BACK AND SAY, I SURE WISH I WOULDA ATE THE GOOD FOOD GOD PUT ON THE EARTH FOR ME TO ENJOY INSTEAD A ALL THAT DIET FOOD. NOPE NOT I
WHO KNOWS, I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO COME BACK AS AN OLE BAT AND HAVE TO EAT MOSQUITOES. [GOD FORBID] YA'LL BRING THE GOOD STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Edited by DALE on Wednesday 12th of January 2011 02:20:42 PM
Everyone stay strong and stay on your diet. Look who posted that last post. Skinny Minni Dale. You know if you break your diet you'll beat yourself up later about it.
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BRING A JAR A MOSQUITOES AND YOUR GOOD TO GOE YA OLE BAT. YA'LL BRING REAL FOOD. CHRISIE BAT EXAGGERATES WHEN SHE SAYS "EVERYONE" IS ON A DIET JUST LIKE MY KIDS USED TO SAY EVERYONE IN SCHOOL IS DOIN IT OR GOEIN. "REAL FOOD", BRING "REAL FOOD" MAYBE CHOCOLATE PIE, APPLE PIE, SUSIES CHOCOLATE MICE ARE GOOD, CHEEZY POTATOES, VENISON IN A CROCK, BARBEQUE SMOKIE LINKS, BAKED BEANS, A FEW HOT DISHES, LADYS BAKED CHICKEN. NOW THAT'S DIET FOOD. I JUST LOST 2 LBS THINKIN ABOUT IT
Hey Rosie, just look at how long it took the caveboys to figure out we weren't on here. All we have to do is throw them a bone once in a while and they go on and on and on about a whole lot of nothing. In the mean time we can do all kinds of things and not worry what they are doing because we know that they are right here going on and on and on about the last bone we threw them. They are so predictable.
Now on to the business of food at the shindig at Jack and Denise's. I heard through the grapevine that everyone is on a diet. Everyone except the skinny minny's like Dale, Jim and Barb. What kind of foods do we need to bring that the rest of us can eat. I for 1 will be bringing something I can eat and stay on my diet. Larry I know will eat anything he wants whether it's on his diet or not. What about the rest of you?
NOTICED CHRISIE BAT AND ROSIE BAT HUNG UP THE KEY BOARD SOME KNOW WHEN THERE WHOOOOPED, BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE EITHER ONE A THOSE TWO WOULD HAVE A CLUE
IM' THINKIN THE OLE CHEROKEE BAT WILL BE ON HERE ONCE SHE FIGURES OUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HER PHONE, HER KEY BOARD, OR HER TV REMOTE OLE CAVE BOY DICK SURE HAS HIS HANDS FULL WITH THAT ONE
GIRL BAT, WE KNOW FOR SURE WHO CAVE BOY JACK HAS FOOLED ALRIGHT IT'S OBVIOUS KNOWIN THE COLOR A YOUR HAIR THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE
HEY OLE BAT DENISE, WONDERIN IF YOUR GONNA HAVE EVERYTHING IN ORDER AT YOUR HOUSE FOR THE GATHERIN SATURDAY BEFORE YOU'RE OFF TO WORK OR IS JACK GONNA LET YA TAKE THE DAY OFF TO HELP ENTERTAIN THE GUESTS AFTER ALL, YOU ARE VERY ENTERTAINING
Ooooh lil Jimmie. You are just toooo funny. My sweet lil Jack sure has you boys fooled. He has been doing such a great job making you think he's on your side. You should know by now he likes the sweetie bats better.
JOB!!!!!As in WORK??? You gotta be kiddin' All you gotta do is take a lesson from Cave Boy Jack and you know that working is not something you have to do. That is what ol' bats are for. As a matter of fact if you have them working you don't have to put up with their jaws flappin' all over the house.The only reason Grannie is on here is Jack has a laptop in his truck to keep her entertained when he takes her to work. That way he doesn't have to listen to her. He used to have her drive herself but, being blonde, she could never find the place and kept coming back home without a paycheck.
NOW JUST WHY WOULD WE WANNA FIND JOBS, WHEN WE GOT HARD WORKIN OLE BATS TO KEEP US IN THE GREEN AS USUAL, YA DON'T MAKE A LICK A SENSE AGAIN
WONDER WHEN CHRISIE BAT FLEW OUTA THE CAVE IT'S HELPS US CAVE BOYS OUT WHEN SHE GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON MAKIN NO SENSE AT ALL GOOD TO SEE YA BACK, CHRISIE BAT
Hey, bat sisters. I offered for the cute little bats to find jobs for the lazy ole caveboys. I think that offer went over their heads like a lead balloon though. I didn't get much response from them.
in between dizzy spells 
an running over himself coming an going to the potty 
takes up a lot of valuble time 
ol hdg may try an party 
after noon for awhile but don't hate him iffin he don't show up.keep the dog biscuits kinda handy just in case 
hdg
TOMORROW WHEN US CAVEBOYS ARE SITTIN AROUND THE WARM FIRE AND YOU'RE THE FUEL THAT'S KEEPIN US WARM
HEY, BRING A COUPLE EXTRA SHAKES TOMORROW
FOOD AND TRIKIN
SOME KNOW WHEN THERE WHOOOOPED, BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE EITHER ONE A THOSE TWO WOULD HAVE A CLUE
