Dale - Unfortunately, not everyone can perfect the technique needed to hold down a couch properly. It can take years to master the art. The first step is to gather everything you might possilby need and have it around you. That includes the TV remote, the telephone, the TV guide, snacks and liquid refreshments of your choice. If you don't have everything within your comfortable reach, you may have to call your ol' bat at work and have her come home to fetch it for you. That can lead to time off work and reduced pay checks. The best plan is to have your ol' bats place everything you might possilby need on the coffee table before she leaves for work. It is best to make-up a check list for her to follow because, with a pea-brain, she is sure to forget something critical.
HEY, I DO THAT HOLDIN DOWN THE COUCH ONE, EVERY DAY RIGHT AFTER LUNCH IT HELPS ME TREMENDOUSLYI JUST CAN'T GET BARBIE TO GO OUT AND GET THAT JOB JACK'S SURE GOT THAT OLE BLOND BAT DENISE IN HIS CONTROL
There are some things that Jack gets pumped up about and apparently his ol' bat is one of them. Just the thought of her working all those hours to supplement his income gets him all fired up and pumping iron. I hear that Denise is looking for a third job so she can inspire Jack to compete in the Mr. Universe contest. I do hear that Jack has a new work out technique in mind. It's called holding down the couch.
HEY ROSIE GIRL, NO REGRETS. OUR FREINDS COME FIRST AND WE WOULD A BEEN WONDERIN ALL NIGHT HOW THE OLE BOY WAS DOIN. I STILL MADE OUT AS GENE AND SANDY TREATED US TO A STEAK AT COLTONS AND WE EACH HAD OUR OWN. DIDN'T HAVE TO ORDER ME ONE AND ASK FOR AN EXTRA PLATE FOR BARBIE. SURE HAPPY CLEON'S DOIN GOOD.
CAN'T HARDLY BELIEVE HOW JACK'S GOT INTO THE BODY BUILDIN THING. JUST A LITTLE SOMETHIN TO REWARD THE OLE DENISE BAT FOR WORKIN HER REAL JOB LIKE SHE DOES. TO TELL YA'LL THE TRUTH, THAT PICTURE GIVES ME KIND OF A HEADACHE
I just read this whole thread -- and I'm sorry Dale didn't get to take his bride to their favorite diner for their anniversary dinner. They came to see Cleon instead - I owe you guys one (or Cleon owes you one!). Denise - you gotta watch those headaches!
Denise tell Jack that, while that lil' blue pill is amazing, it won't cure headaches. That's not the head that it works on. Hndgs right though. You need to let him out in the sun a little more often. He'll be like a lil' well trained puppy dog, when he needs a "snack", he'll come back.
Hey Denise you need to UNTIE ol Jack tmorrow morning from the (ol bed post) when you go to work that boy needes some Sunshine he is getting pale an loosing his tan, He will probally still be there when you get back home
WOW - shake and bake, baby!!!! My bat sister Denise is one lucky batgirl ... too bad they don't make caveboys who look like that guy on her arm! Us bats might come out during the daylight!
Sometimes you have to wonder what drives us caveboys when it comes to keeping our ol' bats happy and working. Jack puts in hours and hours striving to be all he can be so Denise will have fond memories of him while she is working at wee hours in the morning.
You're the man Dale. Ain't nothing too good for your lil' bride. No wonder she has kept you around for so many years. Us caveboys are always gettin' a bum rap for being heartless. You and Cleon both prove that we do have a heart. Since you will be eatin' at someone else's house, go all the way and tell Barb she don't have to do the dishes tonight either.
WELL, WE PLAY MUSIC TONIGHT AT SOME FRIENDS AND THE COUPLE THAT HOSTS THE MUSIC ALWAYS PUTS ON A BIG FEED AT ABOUT 8:30 OR 9:PM, SO I TOLD BARB I'D TAKE HER OUT TONIGHT FOR OUR ANIVERSARY TO LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC AND TREAT HER TO A FINE MEAL I'M THINKIN THAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN GOIN OUT TO A RESTAURANT AND HAVE HER BUY US DINNER SHE DON'T HAVE MUCH OF AN INCOME, BUT I DO THROW MY CHANGE IN A JAR AND I ALWAYS LET HER HAVE IT WHEN WE DO GO OUT FOR A MEAL, I ALWAYS LET HER BUY ME A NICE MEAL AND I HAVE THE WAITRESS BRING AN EXTRA PLATE SO I CAN SHARE A PORTION WITH HERI'M SO GOOD TO THAT GIRL, IT'S NOT A WONDER SHE'S STUCK WITH ME FOR 42 YEARS
Dale - I have to chalk one up for Cleon. Not only does he have his ol' bat working, she appreciates him for doing it. I can hear him now "Sweetie, I hate to see you go off to work every day while I have to stay home and watch Judge Judy but I know it is what you really want to do and I only want you to be happy. By the way, how much did you say that deposit was for yesterday? I need some new parts for the trike and don't forget to feed the mules on your way out". Now that is a smooth-talking caveboy in action.
YA RIGHT, YOUR CAVEBOY HAS YA RIGHT WHERE HE WANTS YA "WORKIN"AS FOR THE SELECTIVE HEARING, US CAVEBOYS KNOW WHEN AND HOW TO SAY THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME TO GET WHAT WE WANT SO SELECTIVE HEAR ALL YA WANT, BUT I'M THINKIN YA'LL ARE NOT VERY WELL VERSED ON YOUR SELECTIONS
Barb is such a sweetie -- I don't know how she puts up with that caveboy of hers! I thank the good Lord everyday for the un-caveboy guy I have - I just don't think it's very easy having to steer those neaderthals around everyday - imagine Barb has had to do it for 42 years.
Happy anniversary to you 2. This year will be 38 for us so I speak from experience. It takes a lot of selective hearing on the bats side to keep it going that long.
Hey Dale it lookes like you an Barby batt is gonna make it congratulations (da-m what a big long word to spell ) It just goes to show how well the ol reliable >cave boy BAT< really workes just a cosuple (hard taps) per day keepes the lawyers away,So Dale maby just add another hard thump today (3 total) just to show barbie how much u really care .that had outta make her happy hdg
Dale - I gotta give you credit. You got Barb whipped into shape. Just sorry it took 42 years to do it. Hope the next 42 are a lot less strenuous. Yea son, I think you got yourself a keeper!
Dale, I dont know how Bat Barb put up with you for 42 yrs. Im going to wish Barb a very very happy happy aniversary. she needs all the wishes she can get.
SOMETIMES A GUY'S GOTTA DO, WHAT A GUY'S GOTTA DO THIS GUY JUST COULDN'T DO THAT MY SWEET BATTIE BARBIE AND I ARE DEFINATELY HOPIN WHEN IT COMES OUR TIME, THAT WE GO TOGETHER TOMORROW WE'LL HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 42 YEARS YUP, THAT GIRL PUT UP WITH ME ALL THAT TIME AND ABOUT 4 YEARS BEFORE
A BURLY CAVE man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, ANOTHER CAVE man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. No, he says, The seat is empty. This is incredible, said the CAVE man. Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it? THE BURLY CAVE MAN says, Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my BATTY wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super bowl we havent been to together since we got married in 1967. Oh, Im sorry to hear that. Thats terrible. But couldnt you find someone else-a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?. The man shakes his head. No, theyre all at the funeral. WHAT A GUY..HDG
IT HELPS ME TREMENDOUSLY
I JUST CAN'T GET BARBIE TO GO OUT AND GET THAT JOB
JACK'S SURE GOT THAT OLE BLOND BAT DENISE IN HIS CONTROL
AS FOR THE SELECTIVE HEARING, US CAVEBOYS KNOW WHEN AND HOW TO SAY THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME TO GET WHAT WE WANT
SO SELECTIVE HEAR ALL YA WANT, BUT I'M THINKIN YA'LL ARE NOT VERY WELL VERSED ON YOUR SELECTIONS
.that had outta make her happy 
hdg
WHAT A GUY..HDG