You Road Hogs have a good meeting today. Dale you might want to keep an eye on the parking lot in case Rosie shows up on a Cat. Now how rediculous does that sound, a bat riding on a cat, almost poetic. I'll bet with a little work, Dale could make a song out of it. Something like, Let me tell the story of Rosie and her cat The cat was big and yellow but Rosie was a bat The cat could move a mountain and dig some mighty holes If Rosie's lil' bat feet would just reach the damn controls
UH Hummn RAW steak can that be as good as still warm fresh just tenderized road kill maby it is time for an OLD BLOND joke A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh .... .......
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"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box." OL hdg just had to do it
That don't wash Jim. First off all we have to do is throw old Hndg a nice raw steak. As far as the working goes Denise, Fay and I don't work so all we have to do is plan around Rosie. She gets several sick days a year. I'm sure she could call in sick. Dale works at out of his shop, so we know where he is and Lady would probably give you up in a dog second.
The first thing you would have to do is find a time when you are all off work. As far as catching Dale and I by ourselves that probably ain't gonna happen cause we got ol Hndg on the lookout for us. He can smell an ol' bat acomin' from 25 miles away. He's usually a pretty laid back ol' hound but you don't want to see him when he gets his dander up. The last time it happened it took the better part of 24 hours for the fur to quit flying and that was just a racoon lookin' twice at Hngs's road kill. Hate to think what would have happened if he had actually touched it.
Lets see. We have Denise and Fay and me with Rosie on the bulldozer. If we throw you one at a time without the other being around we could probably do it. we might have to lock Barb up but I'm pretty sure Lady wouldn't mind and she might even help.
Saw somewhere that Jack was having truck trouble. Denise probably sabatoged it so she could get a day off. Knowing Jack, he is going to have her hoofing her way to work tomorrow. Two days off in a row could bankrupt a guy. Jacks a pretty nice guy but he can only be pushed so far.
All these ol' bats willing to help. Perhaps they should be checking out some of the help wanted signs. People crying for help and they are willing to help for free. Guess they got more heart than we give them credit for. Sure not going to do much for their stock pile of retirement money though. I would think that even an ol' bat would be worth at least a quarter an hour.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE ANY OF YOU OLE BATS WOULD HELP DRAG JIM OR MYSELF IN FRONT OF ROSIES DOZER
JUST TO PROVE IT, ANY OLE BAT THAT WOULD HELP DO SUCH A AWFUL THING AS TO THROW JIM OR MYSELF IN FRONT OF ROSIES DOZER, PLEASE POST AND ALL THE OLE BATS SAID "NAY"
The way they keep dipping into the social security money you may be right Chrissy. Used to be people who didn't want to work went on welfare. Well they ran out of welfare money and so they just put them all on social security. There are people who have drawn social security their whole life and never paid a penny into it. That is why it is important to Dale and I to see that our lil' battie friends have a good job, so they can sock away some money for a rainy day. Rainy days will affect you even if you are hanging upside down in a cave. You see, Rosie is taking this heavy equipment thing seriously. I expect, any time now, she will show up on her own D-9. Lots of money to be made running heavy equipment and its so easy even an ol bat can do it.
Sister Rosie, I won't let them put me to work. I don't figure there will be any social security anymore by the time I can sign up. But if it is I have some already and if mine ain't big enough I believe I can collect on Larry's. I'm just sorry you have to pay into it cause I'm really sure that it won't be around by the time you can sign up for it. Maybe Denise and I could grab Dale and Jim and throw them in your bulldozer path. One at a time of course. It would take both of us to get them there cause they'd be screaming and kicking like a little girl.
CHRISY, YOU SHOULD REALLY THINK ABOUT THE JOB AT VAUGHT'S. LIKE ROSIE, YOU WOULD BE THERE FOR OUR MEETINGS AND WHO KNOWS, WE MIGHT EVEN LEAVE YA A LITTLE TIP NOW AND THEN.
AS FOR ROSIE, I'VE GOT A FEW APPLICATIONS FOR HER TO FILL OUT FOR HEAVY EQUIPMENT OPERATOR. NOW THAT SHE'S LEARNED TO DRIVE CLEONS TRACTOR, I'M SURE CLEON COULD GIVE HER A RECOMENDATION OF QUALIFIED CERTIFICATION TO OPERATE HEAVY EQUIPMENT. BOY, I'D HATE TO GET IN FRONT A THAT GIRLS BULLDOZER
Here we go again. Dale and I are just trying to help the ol' bats find work and we get ridiculed for it. Now I know how Obama must feel. All he was trying to do was create a few jobs and you see the thanks he is getting. Just because he spent 25 billion dollars creating 25 jobs wasn't really his fault. Jack and Cleon are just trying to do what is right too. Since their sweet young batties aren't anywhere near retirement age yet they aren't eligible for any rockin' chair money. Jack and Cleon are just seeing to it that Rosie and Denise pay the maximum into their social security accounts so they will get a tidy sum when they do get old enough to retire. Us caveboys couldn't sleep with ourselves at night knowing our dearly beloved are going to have to struggle after we are gone. Chrissy, I am sure Larry would want the same for you. Has he mentioned that you might want to pile some money into your social security account too? I'm sure the thought has crossed his mind. I know as long as we have been going to Vaughts for our meetings, they would put you on in a heartbeat. I think the maximum you can make and still have to pay social security is about $100K a year now. That would mean a lot of overtime but Larry would probably rest a lot easier knowing you were going to be cared for.
If it takes most of Jack and Cleons time making sure their bats get to work, then maybe they should just post dumb stuff like you and Jim, Dale. Then they would be more relaxed and so would the girls. Maybe if Cleon was smelling more bat guano he wouldn't have had that migrain.
Thanks, Denise! Cleon's had me out working at one of my many jobs - pulling fence posts. Well, I got to drive the tractor while he put the chain around the post - life's not so bad when you're a batgirl!
Dale - She probably wasted her whole coffee break coming up with that witty response. Probably should have gone the the bathroom instead and drained off some excess quano. Going to be a rough afternoon for her co-workers.
HEY BAT GIRL DENISE, THE ONLY REASON CLEON AND JACK ARE NOT POSTING CAVEBOYS IS THAT THEY ARE BUSY KEEPING YOU AND ROSIE EMPLOYED IT TAKES MOST OF THEIR TIME TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE TO WORK ON TIME AND HAVE ENOUGH JOBS TO SUPPORT THEIR LIFES NEEDS NOW YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF AND JUST ENJOY YOUR WORKATTITUDE HAS A GREAT REWARD IN HELPING YOU TWO JUST ENJOY MAKING LIFE GREAT FOR CLEON AND JACK HEADS UP GIRLS, I'M THINKIN THE GUY AT TABLE 3 NEEDS HIS COFFEE CUP TOPPED OFF YA'LL HAVE A PROSPEROUS DAY AND REMEMBER "NO WORRY"
We're not picking on Rosie, we are trying to help her. It is hard to find employment in this screwed up economy when you are a normal person; but when you have short lil' stubby wings instead of arms and 10 inch toenails, that won't let you wear shoes, it is next to impossible. She's got Dale willing to sacrifice his valuable time and energy to try to find her something. I think Ryans is going to be the best bet. Can't beleive that Jack and Cleon both have the wool pulled so far over your eyes that you think they aren't really caveboys. Maybe it would help if they took their club with them when they haul you to work or perhaps they have used their clubs once too often and blurred your vision.
C'mon you pesky caveboys. Quit picking on bat-sister Rosie. She has been through a lot lately. Rosie, I sure am glad that Cleon and Jack haven't turned caveboy yet. Hopefully we can keep it that way!!
What a great idea!!! 12 hour days. No sense in spending all that time and money traveling when you can just live at work. Might want to rethink that place you're buying in the city. If you are living at work, Cleon can probably get by with an efficiency apartment. Something just big enough for a fridge for the beer, a couch for nappin' and a big screen TV. Less for you to clean if you ever do get a day off. You could still put in 8 hours at Ryans and have 4 hours a day to just goof off or program Cleon's new GPS for him so he doesn't have to worry about getting lost while he's out riding. Course there is always that GPS that you can get that fits in the back seat of your trike. Problem with them is the volume control never seems to work and the on/off switch is pretty much a joke.
maby it is time for an OLD BLOND joke 
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
" 
" 
CAN'T BE DONE, YA'LL NEED MORE THAN THAT
HER JOB SHOULD BE HOOKIN UP THE CHAIN
IT TAKES MOST OF THEIR TIME TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE TO WORK ON TIME AND HAVE ENOUGH JOBS TO SUPPORT THEIR LIFES NEEDS
NOW YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF AND JUST ENJOY YOUR WORK
HEADS UP GIRLS, I'M THINKIN THE GUY AT TABLE 3 NEEDS HIS COFFEE CUP TOPPED OFF
